Vignettes of the Black Christian and Sexy

01:08 am

Post courtesy of aim.com....

The Award Goes To: Nick Lachey/Jessica Alba

For the first time in Sucks to Be You history, the editorial team, fresh off of a bird-watching holiday in Sarajevo, could not seem to muster up a clear-cut winner -- errr, should we say loser -- to be awarded with the prestigious and honorable Sucks to Be You award.

Therefore, after a vicious game of Rock, Paper, Scissors that concluded with a bloody nose and an incredibly nasty Indian burn, we decided the best way to settle this would be to take a page out of The Cooler Blog and do what real men do: Instant Message our problems away. So, here it is:

SuckstoBeYou: I can't believe you think it sucks to be Nick Lachey. The dude is about to come into serious Simpson money and just got paid $500K to do an infomercial with Brooke Burke.
TheFeed: There's only one word that matters in your scribble: INFOMERCIAL.
SuckstoBeYou: It sucks to be Jessica Alba, because Playboy is trying to hose unknowning hornballs into buying their mag by throwing her hot bod on the cover... even though she ain't nekkid inside
TheFeed: Should we see who's hanging out at the Infomercial-a-GoGo? Hey, there's Suzanne Summers! Look over by the Tostitos, it's Cher!
TheFeed: Oh man, how did I miss that annoying guy with all the question marks who claims we can steal the gov't's money. Nick is in good company.
SuckstoBeYou: Leave Matthew Lesko out of this.
TheFeed: Right, Lesko probably isn't trying to soak more money out of his ex-wife, who has a future
SuckstoBeYou: Nick Lachey is exactly what he portrays himself to be: a semi-witted meathead ex-boy-band failure with a really rich (and dumb) ex-wife. He made his own bed. Sweet, hot little innocent Alba was totally blindsided by Playboy
SuckstoBeYou: I'll never say it sucks to be Nick Lachey, because in theory, that would be supporting Jessica Simpson, and that's just something I cannot do.
TheFeed: Nick had dreams. Big dreams. Bigger than his head or Jessica's teeth. But, after Jessica left, what happens.He hooks up with an endowed former Miss Kentucky
SuckstoBeYou: I'm missing how all of this sucks
TheFeed: You have to compare it to what could have been
SuckstoBeYou: Man, this Lachey-bashing, Jessica Simpson supporting by you is insane
SuckstoBeYou: You Hate America!!!!
TheFeed: You're what's wrong with America!
SuckstoBeYou: Yea, but my font was so much more patriotic.
TheFeed: OK, what we're really talking about though is Alba vs. Lachey... not Nick and Jessica
TheFeed: Let's make it simple. Alba will be a star. Lachey will be in porn soon.
SuckstoBeYou: What's a funny title for his porn debut? Nudelyweds?
TheFeed: Brokeback Boy Band
TheFeed: also, Alba is still getting her mug on Playboy without having to pose
SuckstoBeYou: But will people dislike her or feel betrayed by her, rather than Playboy, when they open it up and there's no nipple?
TheFeed: Repeat the publicity mantra after me: There's no such thing as bad publicty
TheFeed: you're obviously desperate. Playboy readers feeling betrayed? Ha!
TheFeed: Oh, I forgot, guess who made more headlines this week? Nick's weak brother, Drew for winning some lame reality TV show
TheFeed: Also, who is Nick Lachey's equivalent? That's right, K-Fed
SuckstoBeYou: I hate you. You win. I'm going home
TheFeed: Here's your football

Current Mood: blah

12:42 am

So i was just looking at my last three entries (which were a while ago) trying to think what i can tell the world about me. Two of the last three were not my own creation so i decided i should talk about me.

This is difficult because I feel like my life is not that interesting. I am in graduate school. School is school except now i get the freedom to study what i want to study. Teacher say i need a paper from you by the end of April and you are given the opportunity to learn about topics that interest you. But I must say that schools work grad students hard. We are seen as part time student workers but i guess it is my fault i signed up for it. But i love it most of the time. I get to make the college experience for my students exciting. I get to see them have fun, make mistakes, and bounce back. I think my assitantship keeps me in line. It forces me to manage my time. Which probably why i got As in my classes last semester.

However by moving to this city and taking my work and academics so seriously I feel like I have not developed a personal life. I think that I need to. I want to. I want to do tons of stuff but it seems like I am always doing something to do with my career, work or school. And then my semester I gone. I want to do volunteer work. I want to join a sorority. I want to meet people in the community. I want to have a boyfriend. I want to meet new people but all of that takes time. All of it takes money. I have to remember that it I can not do all of that in the 6 months i have been here. I have remind myself that I must pace myself. And not to worry if I do not accomplish everything I want while i am here because I am here for an edcuation and to start my career not for all that other stuff.

well that is something about my life. I think there is more but i think that is enough to get you started. Have a goodnight world.

p.s. I am horney!!!!! A sista just needs to get some.

Current Mood: contemplative

11:33 pm - what friendship is really about

Are you sick of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound like
Hallmark cards, and never come close to reality? Well, here is a series of
promises that really speak to true friendship:

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
thesorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - stay the hell away from me until you are well again.
I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my
oath...I pledge it till the end. Why, you ask? Because you are my friend.

Current Mood: anxious

09:51 pm - you have been sexed!!!

YOU HAVE BEEN SEXED!
It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the calorie content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research the results are in:

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent...............................12 Calories
Without her consent..........................2187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands................................8 Calories
With one hand.................................12 Calories
With your teeth..............................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection...............................6 Calories
Without an erection.........................3315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.....................8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot...................4092 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary......................................12 Calories
69 lying down..................................78 Calories
69 standing up................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow...................................216 Calories
Doggy Style...................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier...........................2912 Calories

ORGASMS:
Real..........................................112 Calories
Fake.........................................1315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging..................................................18
Calories
Getting up immediately..............................................36
Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years...................................124 Calories
50-59 years..................................1972 Calories
60-69 years..................................7916 Calories
70 and over..............................Results are still pending

01:08 am

Hello world.

Life in Indianapolis is good. I am enjoying my job. I supervise a 5 person staff. They are all good people. They seem to be forgiving of the fact that I don't know much about the university or the department that I work for. Which is good b/c when I was in their situation and I had a new boss my fellow staff members and I were not very forgiving. :( yeah we were bad.

But i am doing well. I bought a great pair of jeans today from Gap. I haven't shopped at Gap in a while do to their decrease in quality over the last few years. But today i saw some wonderful things at that store and I do plan to return soon. But let me inform you of one thing Gap does know how to make well...bras. Especially for big chested girls like myself. They are comfortable and stylish.

Okay sorry for that tangent...but the jean options at Gap are good right now so go shopping.

well i had all of this stuff to say earlier and now i can't think of any of it...but i guess i will talk to you later.

peace

Current Mood: restless

12:42 am

hello world.

here is a suggestion. (even if you don't want it)

if you call or see someone and they look or sound stress don't say "Oh my God, what is wrong with you." Because if they are already stressed your words make take them over the edge and they may release their stress on you.

If you can't tell from the story I have been busy since the residents have returned. I am on call and I know that once the weekend hits I am going to be a very busy girl. But everything will be fine many of them will learn after being sanctioned the first time.

I haven't started dating yet....no time :( but i will have my first class on monday so I will have some time away from my job to meet people.

Peace and Love

Current Mood: drained

10:57 pm

Hello all.

I am sorry for not updating in a while but i have been busy...which is odd b/c i am in a city where I don't know that many people. But I would like to say that is changing. (big smile)

Everyone I am meeting right now I through work which is good and bad. I kinda want my own friends but I think that will come one day.

I have been trying to think of ways to learn my way around and one way I have thought about is by dating. I live on a campus by a ton of hospitals. We can use our ID card to eat in the hospitals and I was thinking about hanging out in doctors quarters to meet some doctors to go on dates with. I am not saying that I want my husband or boyfriend to be a doctor they are just easy to find right now.

and i would also have to teach myself how to go on dates just to date not to see you as a potential anything.

i can do it...i am learning tons of new stufff this year.


I hope all is well.

Peace

Current Mood: accomplished

10:08 pm - what i learned today

Well in my current position i sit around and do nothing most of the time. so i have time to watch people and people can watch me. And today I have learned that men look at women's butts all the time. It doesn't matter what they are wearing or how they look in the face i guess to them a butt is a butt. when a man opens the door for you your first thought may be: "somebody taught him right." Nope! He was looking at your butt.

next time you are just sitting in a coffee shop or out in a park watch how much guys' eyes wonder.

have a great day!!

Current Mood: calm

08:20 am

"If you release your grip of the little what you have God would fill your hand with more than a handfull"

"To sacrifice you make yourself somewhat uncomfortable to bless others."

"You can always tell your level of faith with the level of expectations" (heb. 11:11)

06:01 pm

I am a Christian. I even attend a church that does not not agree with the lifestyles of the lgbt. Yet in the majority of my jobs and glasses I have spent a lot of time educating others about social justice issues. And if any of you have ever worked in a setting where you help educate people on controversial issues you know that some days you feel like you are making progress and other days you think that nobody is listening.

Well i just read an article that was posted on bigstusexy lj and it just shows that we have a long way to go.

http://uk.gay.com/headlines/8787

Current Mood: pissed off

10:22 pm - Hello Chicago!!!

09:41 pm - how old do i act?

08:56 pm - always and forever.

I just got off the phone with a gentleman that I dated at one point. I would consider him my first love. Well it has been a while since i have talked to him and i may have mentioned him in a previous journal entry but early this summer I was done given him any physical attention because of his lack of attention to me emotionally. I honestly thought that I wanted more out of this relationship than he did while at the same time knowing that I did not want a boyfriend. well i was confused.

Today we talked on the phone for a little over 11 min. It was a short conversation but it meant a lot. Just as it always does when I speak to him. He told me about what was going on in his life and I told him i was leaving in 10 days. He never said he missed me or that he loved me. Neither did i. but there was a connection. I don't know if it was history, love, loneliness, or desire but my entire being was attached to him through the phone. He told me he had been sick and i was ready to walk that minute to give him a hug. I do not view him as my soul mate or my lover but i see him as my lifetime friend. I am not saying that one day we will not become more but I know that right now I want him to be my friend always and forever.

Current Mood: touched

10:35 pm

So everyone!

A few weeks ago they took my IM access away from all of the conference clerks at my job. So this 8 hour shift in silence is pretty bad with out somebody to talk to.

So i have hit my first problem with going to graduate school and having a job at the same time. :( I hope this doesn't continue b/c the main campus were most of my educational direction is coming from is 45 min. away from were i will be living and working by car. and i don't have a car!!! :) it double sucks :( :(

So i can't just slip away from work and go to the campus without being noticed it really has to be planned.

Let's just hope this is the first and the last. ttyl

Current Mood: thirsty

04:59 pm

A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
She explained she needed to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got really big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I
can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll
lose my license. They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad
things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband
In bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and calmly replied, "Well, now, you
didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Current Mood: working

09:01 pm

quote of the day: "why should we want to change people? Either love them as they are or move on."

update on previous entry:

so i spent most of my weekend with the young man i spoke about before. And i had a lot of fun! well i kinda brought up this issue(s) in bits and pieces throughout the time we were together. I think it was better that way rather than a big blow out b/c when i wrote before i was furious and we may have argued. So all is well with that.

now i have to have that wonderful talk with him "what do you think of our relationship?" I really don't want a boyfriend before i move but i do want a friend who is there 100%. i do not know when i am going to have that talk but soon hopefully. I don't know if it should happen in person or via AOL but whatever it is i really want it to happen smoothly.

I hope everything is well with all of you.

Current Mood: satisfied

09:48 pm

In a previous entry i discussed how i feel like men are just coming out of nowhere asking for us to "consider the idea of being more than friends" well I have this one who has been really working hard at making me see that I should take his request seriously. He is a really good guy. Educated, whitty, from a good family, Christian, etc....but i have few problems with this guy. He isn't very down to earth. I guess that isn't how you would put it. He will talk to somebody who isn't 'at his level' i guess you would say and he won't talk about that person but will talk about people like them when away from them. Like he talks about individuals with weight issues but will be friendly to a person who is overweight. He is also very critical. He has the nerve to say that alicia keys shoes look a mess and the girl down the street needs to get her hair done but he isn't that hot at all. He has this picture on thefacebook.com (a college website) and he looks a hot mess! But here is the issue....when he is critical of others i think it is affecting me and his other friends. Like I have a real problem when he talks about people who are overweight because I work with young ladies who really struggle with weight problems because they don't want men like himself to walk around and talk about them. I also have several family member who are obese and I just don't appreciate his comments. Another example of some that amazes me about our relationship is that I would not ever walk up to him and say "do you like my dress?" I truly believe that he would say if he hated by describing each and every detail that he disliked no matter how much i loved it.

So I am thinking of saying something because he really wants us to "get to know each other better" and I really don't think I will be putting forth any energy into this situation (especially after I move).

How should i say this to him....should i just let it spill out like this. or is there a nicer way??

I know it may sound like he is a horrible person but I am sure that any of you would be his friend because he is a good guy.

Current Mood: drained

07:05 pm

"Claus heard you were here. Someone from the other networks saw you yesterday, but I didn't believe them. Oh, my dearest lovely Elsa, how very very good to have found you."

She shook her head. "You haven't found me, you've just met me by chance. Now I must go." She saw Claus move back discreetly; he wanted no part of this lovers' quarrel.

Do you think that men "met love by chance" while women search for it their entire lives?

Current Mood: restless

09:59 pm - got jokes

Why was Cinderella a bad athlete?

she kept running away from the ball. :)

why else was she a bad athelete?

her coach was a pumpkin. :)

Current Mood: drained

04:02 pm

Info about my boobs.